Showing posts tagged streetwalk chic
Brown leather corset shorts by Alexander Wang, $725.00 at Barney’s. Now, I have never been to a Renaissance Fair, but this is what I imagine ye olde prostitutes to wear.

Brown leather corset shorts by Alexander Wang, $725.00 at Barney’s.

Now, I have never been to a Renaissance Fair, but this is what I imagine ye olde prostitutes to wear.

Platform sandals by Marc Jacobs, $340.00 at Yoox. Let’s not even talk about how these look.  Let’s ignore that theses look like the mutant child of a disco ball and lava lamp.  Let’s not talk about how they slightly resemble stripper shoes.  Instead, let’s talk about how these are assembled.  Let’s discuss how that cannot be comfortable.  Let’s imagine the ugly hangover that would happen to the foot on that teeny metal strip. 

Platform sandals by Marc Jacobs, $340.00 at Yoox.

Let’s not even talk about how these look.  Let’s ignore that theses look like the mutant child of a disco ball and lava lamp.  Let’s not talk about how they slightly resemble stripper shoes.  Instead, let’s talk about how these are assembled.  Let’s discuss how that cannot be comfortable.  Let’s imagine the ugly hangover that would happen to the foot on that teeny metal strip. 

Leather vest by One Teaspoon, $324.79 at ASOS. This was quite obviously inspired by the bedazzled back brace from The House Bunny.  You get all the function of a back brace while looking like the trim section from Michael’s exploded on you. View high resolution

Leather vest by One Teaspoon, $324.79 at ASOS.

This was quite obviously inspired by the bedazzled back brace from The House Bunny.  You get all the function of a back brace while looking like the trim section from Michael’s exploded on you.

Raffia bra top by Blouson Noir, $1,778.26 at Brown’s Fashion. This kinda reminds me of craft day at sleep away camp, and  I hated sleep away camp.  But enough about my childhood trauma, this is a bra made of raffia.  Brown’s cleverly suggests that this top can be worn inside out, giving you two looks for your 2k.  Because we can all imagine how comfortable dried palm leaves would feel up against our nipples.

Raffia bra top by Blouson Noir, $1,778.26 at Brown’s Fashion.

This kinda reminds me of craft day at sleep away camp, and  I hated sleep away camp.  But enough about my childhood trauma, this is a bra made of raffia.  Brown’s cleverly suggests that this top can be worn inside out, giving you two looks for your 2k.  Because we can all imagine how comfortable dried palm leaves would feel up against our nipples.

Leather hotpants by Dsquared2, $225.00 at Yoox. Tight leather underwear, I can smell the yeast infection now.

Leather hotpants by Dsquared2, $225.00 at Yoox.

Tight leather underwear, I can smell the yeast infection now.

Knit shark shorts, $60.00 at Topshop. Submitted by Erica.  Is it just me, or do those cartoon sharks look absolutely miserable?  Perhaps they are miserable because they know their destiny is to adorn crotches.  Topshop acknowledges that these are basically underwear by calling them “pants” (British for panties), but at the same time, they put them in the shorts section, meaning they are to be worn outside.

Knit shark shorts, $60.00 at Topshop.

Submitted by Erica.  Is it just me, or do those cartoon sharks look absolutely miserable?  Perhaps they are miserable because they know their destiny is to adorn crotches.  Topshop acknowledges that these are basically underwear by calling them “pants” (British for panties), but at the same time, they put them in the shorts section, meaning they are to be worn outside.

Miniskirt by Sass and Bide, $190.00 at Shopbop. This skirt is called “Sunday’s Clown”, taking its title from the Velvet Underground song “All Tomorrow’s Parties”.  The song, which was inspired by the lifestyle of those in Andy Warhol’s Factory, describes a poor girl dressing up for the constant parties, only to return to her life of poverty when the night is over.  After dressing up in other people’s glamorous dresses, she once again becomes “Sunday’s clown,” in her rags.  This skirt costs nearly 200 dollars.  While it is raggedy, it is quite far from the image the song presents of the girl.  Maybe they did it on purpose as an elaborate prank on the consumer, calling them posers.  Perhaps they didn’t actually look at the meaning of the lyrics and thought it sounded cool.  Any reason, it is still a 200 dollar shredded skirt named for a song about a poor girl.

Miniskirt by Sass and Bide, $190.00 at Shopbop.

This skirt is called “Sunday’s Clown”, taking its title from the Velvet Underground song “All Tomorrow’s Parties”.  The song, which was inspired by the lifestyle of those in Andy Warhol’s Factory, describes a poor girl dressing up for the constant parties, only to return to her life of poverty when the night is over.  After dressing up in other people’s glamorous dresses, she once again becomes “Sunday’s clown,” in her rags.  This skirt costs nearly 200 dollars.  While it is raggedy, it is quite far from the image the song presents of the girl.  Maybe they did it on purpose as an elaborate prank on the consumer, calling them posers.  Perhaps they didn’t actually look at the meaning of the lyrics and thought it sounded cool.  Any reason, it is still a 200 dollar shredded skirt named for a song about a poor girl.

Ankle wrap thong sandal by Manolo Blahnik, $945.00 at Neiman Marcus. I kinda feel bad for Manolo.  At the end of the 1990’s, he was the go-to shoe designer thanks to Carrie Bradshaw and company.  However, as the 2000’s progressed and fashion started favoring higher, artistic heels and rounded toes, Manolo fell to second tier behind designers like Zanotti, Louboutin, and Kirkwood.  Now, he is designing gimmicky shoes that resemble those favored by more seasoned prostitutes…and selling them for nearly a grand.

Ankle wrap thong sandal by Manolo Blahnik, $945.00 at Neiman Marcus.

I kinda feel bad for Manolo.  At the end of the 1990’s, he was the go-to shoe designer thanks to Carrie Bradshaw and company.  However, as the 2000’s progressed and fashion started favoring higher, artistic heels and rounded toes, Manolo fell to second tier behind designers like Zanotti, Louboutin, and Kirkwood.  Now, he is designing gimmicky shoes that resemble those favored by more seasoned prostitutes…and selling them for nearly a grand.

Duct tape dress by Cheap Monday, $60.00 at Shopbop. This dress was submitted by Sarah.  She says the dress reminds her of, ” those bodysuits that actors have to wear when shooting a scene that needs CGI added to it, or possibly a hobo.” Both excellent observations, in my opinion.

Duct tape dress by Cheap Monday, $60.00 at Shopbop.

This dress was submitted by Sarah.  She says the dress reminds her of, ” those bodysuits that actors have to wear when shooting a scene that needs CGI added to it, or possibly a hobo.”

Both excellent observations, in my opinion.

Zip sequin riding pant by Stolen Girlfriends Club, $257.00 at BuyDefinition. Lets try to ignore the name of the brand.  Personally, I automatically judge labels that try to be overly witty or grandiose in their names (see also: Society for Rational Dress). Beyond that, and despite being rather provocative, these somehow remind me of mom jeans.  I think it has to do with the zipper.  Exposed and contrasting zippers are very trending right now, as are high waists.  However, in making the zipper so noticeable, the designers are also drawing attention to how long it is, resembling mom jeans.  I don’t know how I would feel if my mom walked out wearing these babies. Buy Definition gets bonus points for styling these pants with The worst possible top.

Zip sequin riding pant by Stolen Girlfriends Club, $257.00 at BuyDefinition.

Lets try to ignore the name of the brand.  Personally, I automatically judge labels that try to be overly witty or grandiose in their names (see also: Society for Rational Dress).

Beyond that, and despite being rather provocative, these somehow remind me of mom jeans.  I think it has to do with the zipper.  Exposed and contrasting zippers are very trending right now, as are high waists.  However, in making the zipper so noticeable, the designers are also drawing attention to how long it is, resembling mom jeans.  I don’t know how I would feel if my mom walked out wearing these babies.

Buy Definition gets bonus points for styling these pants with The worst possible top.