Submitted by beckfast and Erica. This is the first entry that was submitted by multiple people. These shoes are that bad. I kinda like that these resemble a floral foot straitjacket, as it will help us identify crazy people on their footwear alone.
Let’s not even talk about how these look. Let’s ignore that theses look like the mutant child of a disco ball and lava lamp. Let’s not talk about how they slightly resemble stripper shoes. Instead, let’s talk about how these are assembled. Let’s discuss how that cannot be comfortable. Let’s imagine the ugly hangover that would happen to the foot on that teeny metal strip.
Midrise boot spat by Dekkori, $126.00 at Pink Mascara.
Anytime a certain look or item blows up, you are going to get a wave of crappy look-a-likes trying to get on the wagon. Posso the Spat gets positive editorial and celebrity coverage and suddenly everyone wants to do spats. Now, I am not even a fan of what Posso the Spat is doing, but it sure is better than this. This looks like a white leather leg warmer/ace bandage. The stripper heels they styled it with doesn’t help either. Not a good look.
Soup jazz shoes by Jeffrey Campbell, $102.99 at ModCloth
Submitted by Erica. Normally I like the stagger posts by the same designer or boutique, but as there is only one left of this shoe, I decided to jump on it. First of all, Warhol references are really hip and current. I love Warhol too, but its time to move on. How about we start sticking something else on cloths to appear artsy and cultured. Secondly, notice how they are avoiding using the Campbell’s soup logo by changing it to “Delicious” soup. You aren’t fooling anyone. Well, if the shoe is almost sold out, I guess you are.
White tribal wedges by Jeffrey Campbell, $150.00 exclusively at Karmaloop.
In recent years, Jeffrey Campbell has made a name for himself as the Steve Madden of edgier designs. His shoes knock off Ann Demeulemeester, Chloe Sevigny for Opening Ceremony, and Acne among others. This pair takes Givenchy’s tribal print wedges, and reproduces it in a cheap, plastic leather. The print is over the top, and it only works on the Givenchys because of the luxurious material, which the Campbells lack. They then covered the wedge in common thumbtacks, and not even well as some of the tacks overlap poorly. I have seen more steady hands on blogger diys. All in all, it makes for on hot mess of a shoe.
Shoes by Marc by Marc Jacobs, on sale for $266.09 at Zappos.
It is not just that the ankle bands look like three scrunchies worn as anklets, but that they have that terrible design feature along with and oddly square toe, high vamp, cutaway wedge heel, and childish color palette. It should be also noted that there is a black flat version of the shoe which is listed as being synthetic even though other sites selling the same shoe list it as suede. This is a double failure, both on the appearance of the shoe and the store selling it.
Skull sandal by Guiseppe Zanotti, $450.00 at Madison LA.
Here is another example of the summer sandal failures being rolled out. With 10% sales tax, these shoes will hit $500 bucks. Five hundred bucks for 4 strips of fabric and 2 charms. On the bright side, you will have the most badass, rock on roll big toes on the block.
Spring/Summer collections are in the stores and you know what that means? Yep, designers busting out their own versions of flip flops, spa shoes, and espadrilles. The cork wedge manages to make an appearance season after season and I just don’t get it. Perhaps they serve the wearer well as a mobile bulletin board, if you want to remember something, just tack on a note.
I spent entirely too much time trying to figure out how these stay on. Eventually, I did realize there was a strap to hold the foot in, but I am still questioning why. They are like a humorless version of McQueen’s brilliant lobster shoes. I may be alone in this emotion, as OC sells threedifferentversions of these shoes. Someone has to have thought they were a great idea.