Showing posts tagged floral failure
Floral denim skirt by Kettle Black, $150.00 at Shopbop. This is like a DIY from hell: botched jeans mended with an old table cloth. Except this was designed, and professionally made.

Floral denim skirt by Kettle Black, $150.00 at Shopbop.

This is like a DIY from hell: botched jeans mended with an old table cloth. Except this was designed, and professionally made.

Dhoti pants by Antipodium, on sale for $181.35 at Buy Definition. This takes me back to my college days.  You know, that white guy with the dreads who sits on the quad playing the bongos.  Let’s not bring this to the mainstream.

Dhoti pants by Antipodium, on sale for $181.35 at Buy Definition.

This takes me back to my college days.  You know, that white guy with the dreads who sits on the quad playing the bongos.  Let’s not bring this to the mainstream.

Deer skin vest by Ralph Lauren, $1,273.00 at My Theresa. Wow, when did Ralph Lauren start designing for women who sell turquoise jewelry in New Mexico.

Deer skin vest by Ralph Lauren, $1,273.00 at My Theresa.

Wow, when did Ralph Lauren start designing for women who sell turquoise jewelry in New Mexico.

Floral slouch clog, $248.00 at Free People. Submitted by beckfast and Erica.  This is the first entry that was submitted by multiple people.  These shoes are that bad.  I kinda like that these resemble a floral foot straitjacket, as it will help us identify crazy people on their footwear alone.

Floral slouch clog, $248.00 at Free People.

Submitted by beckfast and Erica.  This is the first entry that was submitted by multiple people.  These shoes are that bad.  I kinda like that these resemble a floral foot straitjacket, as it will help us identify crazy people on their footwear alone.

Embroidered dress by Ralph Lauren, $4,598.00 at Neiman Marcus. You know the 90’s are back in a major way when designers are putting long, sheer curtain dresses over jeans.  Be afraid, be very afraid.

Embroidered dress by Ralph Lauren, $4,598.00 at Neiman Marcus.

You know the 90’s are back in a major way when designers are putting long, sheer curtain dresses over jeans.  Be afraid, be very afraid.

Ankle wrap thong sandal by Manolo Blahnik, $945.00 at Neiman Marcus. I kinda feel bad for Manolo.  At the end of the 1990’s, he was the go-to shoe designer thanks to Carrie Bradshaw and company.  However, as the 2000’s progressed and fashion started favoring higher, artistic heels and rounded toes, Manolo fell to second tier behind designers like Zanotti, Louboutin, and Kirkwood.  Now, he is designing gimmicky shoes that resemble those favored by more seasoned prostitutes…and selling them for nearly a grand.

Ankle wrap thong sandal by Manolo Blahnik, $945.00 at Neiman Marcus.

I kinda feel bad for Manolo.  At the end of the 1990’s, he was the go-to shoe designer thanks to Carrie Bradshaw and company.  However, as the 2000’s progressed and fashion started favoring higher, artistic heels and rounded toes, Manolo fell to second tier behind designers like Zanotti, Louboutin, and Kirkwood.  Now, he is designing gimmicky shoes that resemble those favored by more seasoned prostitutes…and selling them for nearly a grand.

Floral anarchy tee by Unif, $44 at Nasty Gal. The anarchy symbol says: “Fuck the system!” The floral motif says: “I like pretty things!” The 44 dollar price tag says: “Capitalism works!”

Floral anarchy tee by Unif, $44 at Nasty Gal.

The anarchy symbol says: “Fuck the system!”

The floral motif says: “I like pretty things!”

The 44 dollar price tag says: “Capitalism works!”

Python rose vertigo tote by Valentino, $7,995.00 at Neiman Marcus. Georgia O’Keeffe insisted that her paintings of flowers were just flowers. Gertrude Stein famously said, “A rose is a rose is a rose.” In this case, a rose looks a lot like labia.

Python rose vertigo tote by Valentino, $7,995.00 at Neiman Marcus.

Georgia O’Keeffe insisted that her paintings of flowers were just flowers.

Gertrude Stein famously said, “A rose is a rose is a rose.”

In this case, a rose looks a lot like labia.

Over the knee boots by Kimchi Blue, $78.00 at Urban Outfitters. These monstrosities catch you off guard.  On the main page, the thumbnail shows the boots in black suede.  It’s only after clicking that the true horror of the shoe is revealed.  Sneaky bastards.

Over the knee boots by Kimchi Blue, $78.00 at Urban Outfitters.

These monstrosities catch you off guard.  On the main page, the thumbnail shows the boots in black suede.  It’s only after clicking that the true horror of the shoe is revealed.  Sneaky bastards.

Baroque Knit Kaftan by Versace, $1,205.40 at Browns Fashion Listen, I love Charo as much as the next person, but I don’t look to her for fashion advice.

Baroque Knit Kaftan by Versace, $1,205.40 at Browns Fashion

Listen, I love Charo as much as the next person, but I don’t look to her for fashion advice.